You got it Right!

Last Monday, Thomas Smith called to ask me if I would conduct his father’s funeral. His father, Ron Smith, ended a four year battle with Alzheimer’s last Sunday morning. Ron Smith died about the time his son and daughter-in-law, Thomas and Rhonda Smith, were exiting the third worship celebration at CrossPoint. Of course I said yes to his request.

While committing to conduct the service I asked Thomas if his father was a born again believer and follower of Jesus Christ. Thomas assured me his father was born again. As you might expect, knowing whether or not someone is a Christian has a tremendous impact on how you handle a funeral. Thankfully, we were able to celebrate Ron’s life here on earth, knowing that he was already enjoying eternal life in heaven.

My purpose for writing about the funeral is to tell you what happened at the graveside. To tell you what happened at the graveside, however, I must provide for you what I said in the chapel service.

When Thomas asked me to preach his father’s funeral I knew immediately what message I would preach. It is a message I have preached on numerous occasions, and it just seemed to fit the Smith’s family need at the time. The message is entitled, “How to Cope with the Death of a Loved One.” The theme of the message is basic: instead of asking WHY someone has died, as believers and followers we would be better equipped to ask HOW to cope with their death.

The message is simple. There are five major points:

1. We answer the question HOW by TALKING.

In Psalm 42:5, the writer makes this honest observation:

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
Psalm 42:5

The psalmist admitted to having a downcast soul. We can learn from the psalmist that talking about our grief is a great way to deal with our grief.

2. We answer the question HOW by LAUGHING.

I know this may sound foreign, especially at a funeral, but I encourage you to find something you can laugh about with your family; especially, when that laughter includes something about your loved one.

The Bible says this about a cheerful heart:

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22

3. We answer the question HOW by CRYING.

When Jesus learned of Lazarus’ death the Scripture provides this consequential commentary: “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). It is a powerful notion to realize the Son of the Living God expressed emotion during the death of a loved one.

Tears serve a very real purpose. Someone has aptly said the purpose of tears is to “drain the pain.”

4. We answer the question HOW by REMEMBERING.

When Nehemiah was rebuilding the walls around Jerusalem, he voiced a very meaningful prayer. He said, “Remember me with favor, O my God, for all I have done for these people” (5:19).

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. May I encourage you to remember all the good you shared with your loved one.

5. We answer the question HOW by TRUSTING.

Talking is a beneficial way to cope with your loss. Laughing, crying and remembering are also trustworthy ways to cope with your grief. However, it is by trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ we learn to cope with the death of a loved.

On the night of His arrest, Jesus shared these words with His disciples:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled…We have a choice; we can choose to let our hearts be troubled or we can choose not to let our hearts be trouble. Trouble hearts are the result of the choice we made to be troubled.

Trust in God; trust also in me... By trusting in Jesus Christ, our hearts do not have to be trouble.

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:1-6

What Jesus said in response to Thomas’ inquiry is remarkable. For a man to make such a claim means he must either be a liar, a lunatic or Lord. The Bible teaches that Jesus was not a liar or a lunatic, but that He is Lord. I believe history will also reveal the Lordship of Christ.

When Jesus said “I am the way” He meant there is only ONE WAY to God, and that is through Him.

When Jesus said “I am the truth” He meant there is only ONE TRUTH to live by, and is that is through the Word of God.

When Jesus said “I am the life” He meant there is only ONE LIFE to live, and that is an abundant and eternal life Him.

Two Old Testament passages remind us of how we should TRUST in the Lord.

First, Psalm 91:1&2 reads,

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge
and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

Next, Proverbs 18:10 reads,

The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
the righteous run to it and are safe.

Again, talking is good. Laughing is helpful. Crying will relieve the pain. Remembering is beneficial. But best of all, for our times of great grief and sorrow, trusting in Jesus Christ is the best and only way to cope with the death of a loved one.

I concluded my message by offering the audience the opportunity to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior by repenting of their sins and by placing their total faith in Him to save them.

After leading the crowd in a time of prayer, I asked those who may have responded to inform Thomas’ mother, Joyce, that they accepted Christ on the day her husband’s funeral.

Now I bring us back to the moment a stranger spoke to me at the graveside. I concluded the service, and the military provided Mrs. Smith her tightly folded flag, honoring her husband’s service to our country. I am walking to my car when an elderly man approaches me and says, “Sir, I need to see you.” “Sure, what kind I do for you?” I reply.

“You got it right,” he says. “You got it right. I am born-again, and Jesus is the only way to heaven. There is no other way. Thank you for your message, because you got it right.”That was all he said. He shook my hand and then walked off.

Wow, what a testimony. I was so excited to hear of this man’s faith in Christ. He was proud, and so he should be. I was proud for him. It was a great conclusion to a special service.

I do not know if anyone received Christ that day. But this I do know: the gospel was presented and those in attendance were given the opportunity to repent and believe. One man took the time to tell me his testimony. I know others present had a testimony to share. My prayer is that someone will some day let Mrs. Smith know they were born again on the day her husband’s body was laid to rest.